With the recent holidays, I was able to sit down with my 95 year old grandmother and spend time listening to her share her heart and her life. Now while she is actually my husband’s grandmother, my grandparents passed away years ago, so I look to her as my own source of wisdom and inspiration for living a long and healthy life.
Honestly, I think the elderly often get overlooked as a blessing and a source of knowledge. People are scared of “old people”. I think they are scared that all the elderly are grumpy and will yell at them or they will fall over dead or something. ;) But as I have gotten older and more bold, I have had a chance to sit down with several older family relatives and really talk to them. And you know what I have discovered? They have so much to share, so much wisdom to pass on. And they aren’t afraid to talk about the deeper issues of life and death because that is their reality.
Sitting down with my husband’s grandmother and discovering her story and how she got to where she is, has been pretty amazing. She is 95 years old and has lived alone since her husband passed away over 15 years ago. She takes 2 daily medications for minor conditions. She looks at least 10 years younger than she is and you can easily have a normal conversation with her without having to shout or simplify things, as she is very sharp.
So, my question has always been, how does she do it? How has she lived so long and so well? To be 95 years old, to be healthy, very cognizant and to still be living on her own (and host holidays, no less!), that’s impressive! As I have mulled over several honest conversations with her, I picked up on these 3 tips as to how she has lived so long and so well.
Tip 1: Exercise daily
I think that it has only been in the last few years that my grandmother has stopped doing this. After midlife, she told me, she began walking a mile every day. Every day. When she was in her 70’s and 80’s, she made sure she was walking at least a mile a day. Then as she got older and more fatigued, she turned to an indoor exercise bike and rode that everyday. Now, she was a farmer’s wife in her younger years with 6 kids, so probably her exercise used to simply be her life, but as she aged, she was committed to daily exercise.
Tip 2: Lifelong learning
My grandmother told me that part of her everyday life involved bible study classes and opportunities to continue to learn and grow in her knowledge of the bible. I don’t know about you, but at 95, I think I would probably think that I had heard it all by then. ;) But my grandmother believed that we always had something new to learn. And she doesn’t just take bible study classes, she also does puzzles on a regular basis and watches trivia game shows. All of these things keep her mind sharp and it shows.
Tip 3: Acceptance
Now, this isn’t a tip that she came right out and told me. But through many conversations, I have heard her talk a great deal about how once she accepted her circumstances, she felt much more content about life. I watched her struggle as her body slowed down and she didn’t have the energy to do the things she was used to and it was hard. She felt discouraged and betrayed by her body. when her mind was still so sharp. But when she came to the place where she had peace and acceptance that she couldn’t change those things, you could see a shift in her. She was more peaceful. I often hear her say all those familiar cliches like “It is what it is” and “There is nothing you can do to change things” and “You make do with what you’ve got”, but she genuinely believes them. My grandmother has an attitude of acceptance of life’s circumstances and I believe that really has contributed to her longevity.
Now I am sure if you sat down with someone older and wiser, you might get some different words of wisdom, but what if you did? What if you were bold and asked those people in your life what it is like to get older? How about what it is like to lose friends? I bet you, too, will hear acceptance in their voice. I think that is their reality and one that they eventually have to come to peace with. The things that terrify the rest of us are the things that the elderly live with on a daily basis. Personally, I would love to learn how to come to a better place about the hard things that are coming my way as I get older.
I think part of the reason those things are so scary is that they are part of the unknown of aging. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Not only could we learn a thing or two from the elderly if we stopped and asked, think of the joy we can give if we simply spend time with them! It hurts my heart to see so many people of the older generation overlooked and left alone- in the corner of a party, at an assisted living facility, as if they have lost their value as they age. I simply don’t believe that to be the case. Or maybe it is, but how will we know if we don’t ask? ;)
Emilee says
Hi Auntie!
Thank you so much for posting about Grandma! What an inspiration she is to all of us.
For at least 8 years now, we have been blessed with the opportunity to go to a nursing home on a weekly basis. There is one lady in particular who has been there the whole time we have been going and has not appeared to age a bit. However, there is something wrong with her voice box and when she tries to talk it comes out as a high squeak. I have come to recognize a few phrases such as “How are you?” and “Where’s Mommy?” (she loves to see my Mom:). When I ask her how she is she praises the Lord and gets so excited pointing toward heaven. I wish I could understand everything she says and could ask her about her past. If I could, I suspect she may be similar to the elderly lady in the movie War Room (a must see)!
Thanks again for sharing! Hope to see you all soon.
Shannon says
I love that you read my blog! So fun- and yes, grandma is pretty amazing that she has lived so long and is so healthy at 95 years old! Thanks for the sweet story about the woman in the nursing home. I can just feel the joy as she points toward heaven. I love that you guys go there- something we should all be doing, instead of just tucking the elderly away for others to care for. They have so much wisdom to offer us, I think. Anyway, thanks again for sharing and I hear I get to see you soon! =)
Nancy Parry says
Wow…that is so sweet! I know you have special empathy for older adults and I love how much you’re learning from your grandmother. Good lessons! Hope you share this with her and her daughter too!
Shannon says
I did tell her last time I saw her that I had learned some things from her and I was going to be writing about it. While she may not have understood the word blog ;) she definitely agreed with the lessons I have picked up from her about living a long life! Thanks for coming by my blog. =)
Cara Achterberg says
Love this. So important to learn from people who are where we want to be when we are older. I think she is spot on (I’m only 50 but practice all three tips and am 100% healthy knock on wood). I think another reason she looks so good and has lived so long is that as a farmers wife and a daily exerciser – she’s gotten natural vitamin D from the sun every day. I’m a believer in vit D. I think its the missing piece in a lot of health issues. Anywho – enjoyed this piece1
Shannon says
Thank you! And thanks for the reminder about the Vitamin D- I am a sun loving girl, but I always forget to supplement during the winter months. Thankfully I am lucky enough to live in California where we get some warm spells here and there too! Thanks again for checking out my blog!
Erika says
This is my first visit to your blog. I couldn’t resist this post. How wonderful and inspiring. I love the acceptance goal – such a work in progress for me :)
Shannon says
Thanks for checking out my blog! Acceptance is a great goal- I think most everything I write about here is a goal for me- and giving myself grace while I am a work in progress! ;) Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.